What’s the best part for you? The best feeling? Is it the first time or experience? –when you kissed someone you loved when all you wanted was those lips to brush yours? Is it when you apologized for something you terribly felt guilty for? When you finally bought that pair of shoes that you have always desired? When you went out for the first time, went home at 10 in the evening and were so so so proud of it? When you had a drinking spree and got wasted? Is it when you first won a medal for doing something your parents wanted you to do? When you went out on your first date? When you overcame your stage fright? Is it when the first time you had sex? When you had your first child? The first time you touched your idol? When your crush finally noticed your existence?
If yes, then please, allow me to set your mind in chaos. Then change it.
(1) Our common mistake is that we are too occupied with these first experiences. We tend to focus to those first times because it’s so fucking overwhelming. It feels so good remembering. We get too occupied and focused that we disregard what comes after.
Haven’t you noticed? It’s not the first experience that makes sense. It’s not as significant as you thought it would be. It’s not promising. It’s not perfect. It’s not set. It’s not conclusive. In fact, some are not completely real. It’s vague. It’s inadequate. It’s shitty. It didn’t last.
(2) Another common mistake we humans do is we sometimes misunderstand the meaning of “last“. It has a lot of meaning if you look it up. But what’s unseemly is, we set our minds and define it as; worst, distinct, separate, lowest in rank, belonging to the final stage, We see, feel or hear it as a negative. But darling, think about it —last is also defined as ultimate, extreme or highest in degree.
Nah, I’m not saying that your first experiences are messed up or unimportant. Neither that I think it’s bad to have gone through those and got bullied with consequences. That’s perfectly normal. But no, your first experiences weren’t the best part. Again, they were not. Because there is still so much to experience!
Open your eyes. When you see a horizon, you know it’s not the end, right? Everything is vast and not all of it is visible. It’s not just a book that you can rifle through. But see it through. Be aware. Remind yourself, always, that if something ends, dies or totally vanishes, there will always be something else after that.
Let me tell you something. Last is hope, it’s where the light is at the end of the tunnel. Last is ultimate yet another beginning. Last is infinite. Last is the best part.
I can’t ever prove this to you. Because it will only be yourself who can. You’ll see.